Bitter Sweet

Yesterday I finally did a job that I have been putting of for weeks months.
I inherited my Mums dressing table. I asked my sister if she would mind me having it and she very kindly delivered it on her first visit 'Up North' back in May.
It made the journey from Mum's in London to our house in three pieces. I'd cleared a space for it, Mr P put the pieces back together and there it sat, collecting dust, until yesterday.

It wasn't that I didn't want to use it, I did, I needed a dressing table, I'd actually been looking around for one but couldn't find anything I liked and then I inherited my Mum's.

This was a piece of furniture I had always admired. We moved house when I was twelve. My parents bought a few items of furniture from the owner, Mrs Boarderson, a lady who we knew through the church we attended.
There was a little white wardrobe, (which I desperately wanted to keep when we cleared the house, but sadly we had no room for it in our current house and nowhere to store it until we do have room. Many tears were shed over that) a set of for carved dining chairs and the dressing table. All were made by the owners husband, a carpenter by trade, for their family home.
I used to joke with my Mum about the dressing table, saying that it would look better in my room than hers and sometimes, when I still lived at home I'd get ready in her room so that I could use it.

So there it was, standing in the corner of our room gathering dust and the odd pile of washing. Mr P had been encouraging me to clear it off and sort it out. He even moved all my things (hairdryer, straighteners, make up and related items) over to that side of the room, which meant I was half using it, half not.

The reason I've been so reluctant to use it is because, that's me accepting that she's gone. Yes I have my Mum's beautiful dressing table, Yes I think she would be happy that I kept it but at the same time that means accepting that she's not with us anymore.
I didn't want to clean it off, I didn't want to fill it with my things, I wanted it just as it was, with a mark on the front where Mum had dripped tea and a chalky pink dust in the joins where sprinkles of her blusher had landed, but yesterday I did it.
I cleaned the marks, filled the drawers and placed on the top some very special trinkets.

On the left I have my Mum's Blue glass basket and My Nan's cut glass bottles which I blogged about here teamed with two Giraffe's. One was bought for me by a little boy I used to look after, she's Swarovski  and the other a little 'gold' and 'diamond' encrusted Faberge style Giraffe trinket box, who like me, is a little damaged. If you don't look too closely you'll never notice it, it's only on really close inspection that it becomes noticeable.
Hanging just above that is a heart pendant, bought for me by L on our last holiday. It's made from a bronze coloured stone which is supposed to symbolize prosperity. On the right I have an envelope housing tickets to the show M is performing in, a little 'Worlds greatest Mum' plaque and Mama & baby Birds, that look vintage but are actually from a high street store.
Centre stage is my favourite picture of my parents. My handsome Dad in his Naval uniform and my beautiful Mum looking stunning as ever.

Compared to how it looked when Mum had it, this is pretty minimalist! She had all kinds of little trinkets and keepsakes stored on there. Things I had given her when I was a child or things given to her or made for her by one of her many Grandchildren. Little memento's from days or nights out and of course make up and hair things dotted around too. It wasn't the tidiest of dressing tables, but it was well used and well loved, and now it's mine and I cherish it. I was going to say that I'm sure in time the bitter-sweet feeling will fade, but if I'm honest I'm not really sure it will.